The end is in sight, as the Melodifestivalen juggernaut prepared to finally select Sweden’s representative at Eurovision. Next week’s final in Stockholm needs ten finalists, and the four heats have so far only provided two each. Time to throw someone a lifeline.
Andra Chansen (Another chance) is a bonus heat made up of the eight acts who came third & fourth in their heats. They’ll perform once more to a public vote. The top 4 will move to the second round and then be paired up – the winner of each duel gets a ticket to the final.
Our venue is the old city of Lidköping in the South-West of Sweden, on the shores of the huge Lake Vänern. Another tiny place though, with a population of 25,000, but they’ve still got a massive huge concert arena, and the Melodifestivalen circus is descending…That’s not Helena Paparizou eating fire is it? She’s really going all out! This is all very nice… is this what the residents of Lidköping do to pass the long winters? Never mind this nonsense, I want the results! For me, only really Helena and Martin qualifying will do – I’ll cope with J.E.M. going over Helena though. Otherwise there’s a lot of rock drivel this that I just don’t like. Linus has a good chance I suppose, and I don’t mind that qualifying over most of the others.
You don’t need in-depth commentary from me, we’ve seen all these songs before (if you ever needed commentary, but I guess you’re here). But you can check out my reviews of the Heat 1, Heat 2, Heat 3 and Heat 4 if you really need it again!
Ammotrack – Raise your hands
Musically it is what it is – dated 80s cheese rock that sounds exactly what I’ve heard years and years before. With any luck the other rocky tracks might collide in the voting… sorry guys, your drummer is hot but I don’t want to hear this in Stockholm!
Linus Svenning – Bröder
Oh look, all scary tattoos and piercing, but he’s sensitive, give him a bloody award. I don’t get this, seems to be talking about a possibly dead brother but… well Kempe wrote it all, so it is even his brother, or Kempe’s brother? Is there even a brother?? The chorus is memorable just by virtue of being repetitive, it just feels like a trick to me. As a song, without the visuals and the ropey live vocals (which are presumably OK because he’s totes emosh), it doesn’t sound bad, but that’s all you’re getting out of me.
JEM – Love trigger
Thomas G:Son hasn’t been quite as prolific as Kempe this year, I wonder where else he will turn up in international selections though, he’s been in Spain already, was he in Belarus too? I forgot. Anyway, this is a bit of basic “fun for Europe” but it does the job better than I thought. I still haven’t made any sense out of this song, but the full-on club pop production means they could do practically anything and sound half-decent. Vocals are a bit wonky (that last big note!) but bless them.
State of Drama – All we are
Hearing the studio version over the last week hasn’t helped this. A shame, because I quite liked “Falling” last year. That lead singer is really annoying though, he’s determined to be the star isn’t he? The song is basic as you like, nonsense lyrics about overcoming… erm, something, DJ playing songs, and a standard issue crowd chant. Is this the post-Fun legacy? Chilling.
Ellinore Holmer – En himmelsk sång
I found out after last week is that she was all miserable because she’s got Aspergers, oops. Sadly doesn’t make this ballad any more interesting. Or at least not worth giving poor Linda Bengtzing 5th place last week. She’s a nice singer even if there’s not enough power in her voice. Nice for her, but keep in Andra Chansen, please.
WTF is this interval, are they singing web links?!
Martin Stenmarck – När änglarna går hem
Now the party really starts, how could they not put through this?! That final leg of the film is just totally OTT euphoric Swedish pop, it makes me proud to be Swedish!! Well I’m not Swedish, but it’s that good. Just get him in the bloody final, this is 100x better than “Las Vegas”.
Helena Paparizou – Survivor
Helena’s another Eurovision 2005 alumnus, who performed in the 2005 final in Kiev with Martin, but for different countries. Helena won the contest for Greece, so I guess we had high hopes for her. She’s a great performer, but I’m still not 100% sold on the song, and considering some of the Schlager casualties this season so far, I’m surprised it even made it to AC. As a result, I’m braced for her not to survive another heat. But she would be great… amazing performance this time!
Outrigger – Echo
Last of the pack is another shouty rock track. Ugh. It’s not totally devoid of value but it leaves me cold. Not above gimmicks, indeed they have the biggest of the night with those cages and the lead singer in a straitjacket. It distracts from the song, but that’s not supposed to be the point is it? It’s at least better than Ammotrack. I could cope with it in the final over all the rock tracks we’ve heard, but this is not my preferred choice…
My dream picks are Helena & Martin, but as song I could deal with JEM and even Outrigger nudging Helena out, but Martin is non-negotiable! As for my predictions, well this season has at least shown to expect the unexpected, and if that’s too hard, just expect the worse unless it’s totally obvious.
What’s all this, cross-dressing from Anders again? Is he supposed to be Kathy Griffin? Shirley Clamp? Who can say? Presumably Swedish speakers. Martin Stenmarck… omgz… I love Helena’s cackle too. But it’s time for… RESULTAT!
RESULTS (part 1 of 4)
Through to the next bit are… (I can’t watch) Martin!! Um… I guess JEM as they lit it up at the wrong time? Outrigger, no surprise there… oh God Helena’s not going to make it is she? HELENA! State of Drama are through, and … oh, there are 5 places still. Hope it’s bloody JEM after that cock-up. Linus is the last one. Poor JEM, what a scandal. So I guess there’s another vote to knock out one act? The visuals don’t seem to have caught up, they were evidently ready for JEM to qualify too. This is a bit awkward… even the audience have given up clapping.
Ooh is Emmelie performing? Last year’s winner performs her… OMG those abs! Sorry what? It’s hard to concentrate… this is the official anthem of Copenhagen 2014. Is that a thing? It’s very nice though, perhaps more of a World Cup anthem or a Greek Eurovision entry, but still very good. Nice tan too. Her voice is a bit thin tonight but she gets through her winning entry without issue. Can she go through to the final?
Another vote, just to knock one act out … hopefully Linus or State of Drama. I can’t take this pressure. Outrigger got through, and they duel against Helena Paparizou. That at least avoids a Martin/Helena face-off, God I love that woman! That’s a decent draw so far, I just hope Martin gets into the second duel and destroys the other act.
Don’t know why they both really need to perform again, they were only on about 15 minute ago! Though you know, I’m really sold on “Survivor” now, it really is the performance doing the trick. I hope they just get her through. Good lord, do we really need a re-cap too!?
The last two through to the duelling stage then are (I can’t take this)… Linus and Martin presumably because the voting numbers came up already! Oops!! What a bloody fiasco, is the work experience guy doing tonight’s visuals??
OMG the dream result is still possible, Helena & Martin… though this could make it all the more painful when Linus & Outrigger make it through. Two more performances though, including Martin being amazing again. COME ON SWEDEN YOU BUGGERS.
FINALLY THE AC RESULTAT!
Martins really need to burn that hat. Anyway… ugh I feel sick, what are they going to do?
Going through to Stockholm’s final then are… Helena!!! and… Linus …. FUCK YOU SWEDEN!! So out goes possibly my favourite song of the whole season. But I guess at least we got Helena. Kempe finally got his full house of four songs in the final too. Bugger. Poor Martin.
So that’s a pretty solid final, would have been almost flawless with Martin instead of Linus, and that Songbird song isn’t my favourite, but as long as Linus doesn’t win the whole thing, Sweden’s going to bring something pretty great to Eurovision this year.