Totally Baked (Great British Bake-off S4 Ep1)


BBC great british bake off baking tv programmeIs it Bake-off or Bake Off? I think I over hyphenate. I just typed hyphen-ate, I think I have a problem. Well, having consumed a lot of Chinese food, and two generous lashings of vodka and Coke (drunk at home, this is positive behaviour), I was literally excited with excitement as my favourite aspirational competition returned for a fourth season.

I’m going to be careful this year, after inciting the hatred of the Bake-off/Bake Off followers with my sneery hateful summaries of the contestants last year, I am going to confine the troll to my inner monologues. Or maybe Twitter, there’s a limit to how mean someone can be in 140 characters (and it works both ways).

It was all very good and I’m addicted already, but does it always feel so Reality TV so early on? Some of these people are a bit too aware that they’re on TV and are trying their hardest for attention. Whether that manifests itself in knowingly trying to be ‘fabulous’ (and failing hard, darling), or turning on the waterworks as soon as something curdles (I steel my heart against you), or even resorting to self-harm after John’s trailblazing hand massacre last year. Seriously, how many people cut themselves this time, some people had hands COATED in blue plasters!

great british bakeoffThe usual reality clichés were trotted out: “I know I’ll be out” being the main one, leading to one “Yeah, I knew it” and several “OMGZ I even failed to be the worst baker, I’d better cry so people know how humble I am”. Fop-haired Toby was first out, surpassing himself with an angel foodcake made with salt instead of sugar. Before the haters say “Oh I’d like to see you try”, I reply with “I would never make his mistake because I’d never ACTUALLY end up baking anything”. Yes, I just love cooking shows, but not cooking. I read a thing on BBC News (probably an uncharacteristically subtle attempt to promote a BBC show via a new story, they do this ALL the TIME) that said that baking helps people with depression. I might try it I guess. I’m just eating the cakes at the moment.

So I just hope Bake Off (it’s not hyphenated, I just checked) settles down a bit and doesn’t go crazy from the hype. Hopefully this will happen naturally when the more flamboyant (and careless) bakers get picked off. Paul Hollywood looks like he’s trying to own the Mr Nasty Judge tag though. I’m all for constructive criticism (I’m not, I hate it) but there’s no need to be so rude.

There we go then, I didn’t say anything personal about anyone. But I certainly rolled my eyes a lot. YOU DID THE SAME I’M SURE.

Glad it’s back anyway. OMG Great Australian Bake Off seems to be on Youtube! *binge* They have these shows all over the world now! *squee*

Wasn’t sure how to finish this one off, usually I do a video or something. But no, I looked on Youtube, and here’s that squirrel from the season 2 finale episode, with the big ol’ cock and balls.


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