All good things must come to an end. In unrelated news, the last Twilight movie is upon us. I’ve had a bumpy relationship with the supernatural teen saga, ranging from quite decent guilty pleasure to abysmal teen soap with a distracting layer of abs. At least you can rely on the final entry in most sagas to crank up the drama and budget for one last blowout.
Or fake-out, more appropriately. I’m not going into spoileriffic plot points, but the climactic point of the movie ended up with me groaning and putting my face in my hands. I suppose if you are going to act like the most OTT soap opera over, you might as well pay homage to one of the most notorious plot devices/headfucks in history.
Aside from this astonishingly brazen moment, it was pretty much business as usual in Team Twilight. Vampires brooded or traded knowing looks and banter with each other, wolves got indignant about things, Dakota Fanning looked fiercely at anything and everything, and Taylor Lautner got his abs out for a bit – about all he’s good for these days.
The cast are quite endearing these days, they aren’t really up there with any notable ensemble casts, but their slimmed-down roles allowed them to coast comfortable as their own caricatures. The carefree personable Bella was the same as always, scowling away at any opportunity, despite getting what she wanted her whole life (she says). No surprises really, but they did the best they could.
Well, Michael Sheen was maybe an exception to this satisfactory cast, pitching his head vampire character as some pantomime villain. Really bad! Even less believable was the terrifying array of CGI children. Starting with an ooky baby, and quickly morphing to a spooky toddler. Thank Christ they made her a real girl for the second half of the movie. I really don’t understand the logic there, couldn’t they have just used a human actor!?
All in all, it wasn’t without its flaws but it was a decent send-off for the saga – even having its own greatest bits montage at the end (!). My greatest criticism was the awful chav mother sitting behind me with her son who must have been around 6. This film is a 12A, and while there was a notable absence of any blood, there were plenty of decapitations. That said, it didn’t really bother the kid as much as the boring talky parts (i.e. most of the film), prompting him to ask all manner of questions to his mum. She just threatened to slap him if he didn’t shut up. Fun times!
Anyway, in summary it was all fine. Not amazing, stupid plot devices, not enough gratuitous flesh-baring, but it didn’t shame the multi-billion dollar franchise at the last hurdle.