Me vs Sport

I’m not happy. Well maybe I am, I’m not sure yet. I had to play outdoor competitive sport today (under duress), probably for the first time since I was 16, nearly half my life. That’s terrifying, I just realised that!

Anyway, it was rounders. I’m not entirely sure that’s a recognised sport, with a federation or whatever ‘proper’ sports have. Mind you, I did see professional FISHING on satellite TV once, so I guess anything goes. I used to play rounders at school, and hated it then for exactly the same reasons I hated it tonight.

I suspect nobody knows what rounders is outside the UK, so a good starting point would be “it’s a bit like baseball”. Except it isn’t really. You’ve got 4 bases, and a bat and a bowler, and fielders etc, but the differences in rules are so different they completely confounded me when I tried to follow a baseball game with the advice “it’s a bit like rounders”. So someone had the bright idea at work that we should get into small teams and blackmail our colleagues until we had some proper-sized teams. Thus I was forced into this activity.

A few ultra-competitive and rule-oriented colleagues did their best to suck the fun out by ruining glory moments and bragging at the end. But really I was my own worst enemy, I am not good with adrenalin. Or at least the adrenalin that means you have to do some sudden physical activity. Batting was alright, you just have your moment to do your stuff, and it’s over. Fielding is hugely stressful, no idea if a projectile is going to fly at you, which not only do you have to stop with your body, but DO something with afterwards. Various minor injuries resulted: a hurt knuckly, a bruised bicep and a very nearly squashed bollock.

So I will stick to the gym, and get fit by running or some crap like that. At least you don’t win or lose, and you can get off when you like. Sigh. I’ll just type on my blog, you all understand, dear blogosphere.

Though I will say one thing, I did get a rounder (or home run, whatever), which is more than a lot of people did. SO I AM AMAZING STILL. HOORAY!

This is how crap and English this game, someone is playing this game in a full length dress. Ridiculous!

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