Road to Baku 2012: Valentina Monetta – “The Social Network Song” (San Marino)

From the sublime, to the ridiculous. San Marino are the newest Eurovision nation, debuting in 2008 and entering for a second time in 2011. The subtle approach hasn’t done them any favours so far, so now for something completely different…

San Marino’s rocky debut entry in 2008 came dead last in its semi-final, and a dodgy vocal left poor Senit’s mid-tempo ballad in the semi-final last year. This time the Sammarinese are throwing caution to the wind and sending this hideously catchy ode to Facebook. I mean… Social Networks!

The original song “Facebook (uh oh oh)” was a marvellously idiotic track about the world of internet friendships.  Maybe that’s not quite capturing everything that made the video so watchable. Valentina seems like a lovely woman, but that video… she’s fixing her shark-eyes on the camera, with a rather painful-looking dance ‘routine’ – not entirely sure if any of the moves had any actual planning, but maybe the choreographer dislocated a shoulder – and miming that looks like she may be deaf.

She has the terrifying intensity but innate watchability of a serial killer, with a seriously killer hook to go with it. The EBU stepped in after the entry was announced (about 2 days before the final deadline) to say that promotion of products wasn’t allowed, and the song would be disqualified. San Marino hastily re-edited the song to remove references to Facebook, replacing it with “The Social Network song”.

Incredibly the new version is even less coherent, “Hello oh uh oh, everybody loves you so”. The lyrics seem more skewed towards having sex with old school friends than people perhaps associate with Facebook, and the video somehow manages to have survived the pretty fundamental lyric change with no noticeable alteration to the video.

Musically they’ve added a strange layer of auto-tune to what was a competently sung track, maybe it’s to cover over the cracks made in the editing, who knows. Ultimately this has the potential to be the hottest mess of the contest, and the masochist in me would love to see it in the final, just to get it to a bigger audience. It’s certainly preferable to the Russian grannies for me anyway. I somehow doubt it’ll make it through, but Italy are voting in their semi-final, so at least I hope they’ll get off the ground. I know I’ll be googling, giggling and gaggling if that comes to pass.

As ever, click the “Eurovision 2012” tab at the top of the page to find all the other reviews I’ve done so far, not many left to write now!

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5 Comments

Filed under Baku 2012, Eurovision, Music, Reviews

5 responses to “Road to Baku 2012: Valentina Monetta – “The Social Network Song” (San Marino)

  1. Dinlo

    She DOES have the whiff of a serial killer about her! I’m also baffled by the amount of sexual references. Are we sure she’s singing about Facebook and not Grindr?

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